Sunday, June 9, 2013

The land of the revolving door

You don't have to be a foreigner living in Japan very long to see that this is "the land of the revolving door".  I had very few friends when I first arrived, but I had a wonderful family waiting to embrace me. I had English students, some of which did become friends, and then, as children entered the picture, added to that were the parents of my children's friends.

But then, those friends usually stayed only for two or three years on company business, and then moved on . There were times I almost dreaded making new friends because I knew in a year or two, they would be moving on, taking a piece of my heart with them.

Sure, there were a few long-term friends, and especially among the missionary community there were quite a few. Sadly, over the last ten or fifteen years, most have retired and left. My dear neighbor, too, has become to frail to live on her own and has moved in with her daughter. Hopefully the house and garden will remain but even our neighbor to the south sold their lot to be divided into two three-story-sun-blocker and I can't help thinking it might happen again.

So, where do you go for friends? Church is  a big one ... also with a revolving door. Scouting has been another source ... though most of those friends are guys ... and then, there is quilting.
You are sitting with needle in hand, and in walks someone new. It only takes a few minutes to find you have met a kindred spirit. This week I am saying "good-bye" again BUT I know, even though she is leaving Japan, we will meet again. This week Cynthia and I made a final run to "fabric town", the wholesale district for cloth. She was picking up a few goodies to take back to the States and I was needing her help to complete my owl.

Now, as I work, I will be remembering the friendship we have shared.

How very much easier it is to make a selection with the help of a friend ... especially a friend who is on the same page, knows where you are coming from and where you are going.

You can see my owl is also happy, for now he has a branch to sit on and the beginning of sky where his tail leaves off. (and just wait until you see the border print)!

Thank you Cynthia, for two short years of friendship. We will be linked by our blogging, our quilting, our fabrics, and we can begin scheming about what we can do when I come to Boston.





 Also, this week, a rainbow came through my mail slot.

This is the beautiful hand dyed fabric that came from Vicki Welsh as a prize from Quilting Gallery. I just know the women of Tohoku will have their spirits lifted by these vibrant colors ... and.. as if that wasn't enough, Vicki generously added some extra pieces. Thank you Vicki, nothing will go to waste!




Then, on Friday, I went to an ikebena exhibit by Sogetsu school. Many years ago, I studied with Sogetsu and even earned my teacher's license. I used to belong to Ikebana International and took part in their shows but lately there is little space or occasion for a flower arrangement in my home.

The ticket was given me by a quilting friend/sensei  and, surprise!, more quilt friends met there. The show was outstanding and so very nicely done.
Afterwards, we went for a cool drink and I was fortunate to meet another of sensei's friends I had only seen in passing a few times, but this time we had time to talk (She is French, so we managed in Japanese) but she has been in Japan as long as I and we shared a lot in common.

So ... the revolving door keeps spinning, Along with sad "good-byes" come warm "hellos". And, thanks to the computer age, many of those may last longer than before.

22 comments:

  1. I have a very hard time making friends - I am not comfortable with people I do not know. I don't belong to a church so that is out. I try to meet people through quilting but I never seem to find anyone that is totally on the same page as me in this area that I live - I seem to have little in common with most quilters other than quilting and that doesn't always lead to friendship - I guess I am termed a "loner" as my husband is also, he too doesn't make friends easily so we are by ourselves a lot. I make sure I go to quilt groups though anyhow to be around people - you never know maybe one day a perfect friendship will once again form - my problem is all the people that I have been good friends with over the years have either moved away or died and so it is hard. My very best friend was not a quilter but she died 9 years ago and no one has really taken her place since.

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  2. It sounds like you have been blessed with many friendships through the years.
    The owl is coming along wonderfully and i can't wait to see how you finish him and what you will be doing with the fabrics.

    Debbie

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  3. Julie, I teared up reading this! I will never forget your friendly, practical, chatty, warm welcome the first day I attended the ASIJ quilt group. Our quilting friendship means a lot to me and I will COUNT on a visit in Boston! You are one in a million. The revolving door includes a lot of mixed emotions! Your owl is looking great!

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  4. Your owl quilt is just adorable! I'm lucky to have a few really good friends that I've had around for a long, long time, but I've had several move away taking a little piece from my heart. It's so hard when they leave.

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  5. owl coming on wonderfully ... it is sad to see friends go.. but with the wonderful advances in technology it is so much easier to stay in touch with people ... doesnt stop the wrench, but, makes it a little easier x

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  6. Wonderful stories. There are some in the US who have lived in the same area for generations, but it seems that America is more on the move now than ever before. Almost everyone we have met since moving to Washington 12 years ago is not from Washington originally.

    Love the way the owl is coming along - he is looking very perky now that he has wings and a branch.

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  7. I can imagine it's hard to say goodbye. :( Technology does have some advantages these days, though.

    Your owl quilt is looking fantastic! He is looking happy now. :D

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  8. Friends, true ones, are so special, and distance is hard to accept. In life I was told if we have 5 true friends we are so fortunate. I so like your owl, with wise eyes, the border?? Waiting for the next photos. Fond greetings, Jean.

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  9. My sensei? Did she introduce you to Annmarie? I'm still spinning a bit 8 months out the door!

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  10. Thanks to email and blogging, friends don't seem to be as far away as they did in the days of snail mail. However, nothing can compensate actually spending time with a friend. It is indeed sad to see friends go, and especially a person like Cynthia with her bubbly personality and positive outlook on life.

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  11. I understand the heartache of seeing friends come and go. Having grown up with a father in the military, goodbye meant goodbye and maybe we'll write letters which eventually end. As an adult with a husband in the military I hesitated to get too close to people because of the frequency of our moves. It was only in the last 10 years that I started to change and become closer and have really good friends. And now with Facebook it makes everyone seem closer with daily interactions and even high school friends have come back. Still....saying goodbye is always difficult.

    Love the progress on your owl quilt!

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  12. As a military spouse I encountered that same problem. In fact, in the last two duty stations, I really didn't bother to make new friends. I knew we'd be leaving soon and didn't really care. It was really tiresome and I missed my friends from past places. You are right though, between the computer and phones, we get to stay in touch so much faster and easier.

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  13. I can relate to your feelings of making friends and then having them leave after completing their work contracts. It was very difficult!

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  14. I suppose my friends mostly stay the same though we get older... I have rarely made close foreign friends... maybe because subconsciously I know they will return to wherever and I will stay here. Interestingly, I found it easiest to make friends when my children where in kindergarten. I don't think I've made BEST friends since then.

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  15. What a thoughtful post. Friendships are so important and the best ones never end although people may be apart. I am thankful for the ease of communication we have these days and value all the time spent with the people I love. The more we love them the harder it will be when we are no longer together. I have a lot of acquaintances but best friends are rare and to be treasured.

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  16. I just love your blog and how your words so apply describe what many of us feel. Your talk of friends and meeting new people really touched my heart. Thought I would share with my granddaughter to be born next month. Her other grandmother is Japanese living in Florida and she was visiting with us last week. The baby is to be named Tori, which Tina (the other grandmother) said means songbird in Japanese.

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  17. Oh Julie, I am absolutely in love with your Owl!!

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  18. ooo, I love your owl :) Yes, I use quilting to find friends. It's really nice, too, how that opens my friendship circle up to multiple generations. I really like that.

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  19. The owl is wonderful! I have lived in my town for 35 years and I can count my friends here on one hand. People come and go often and I can relate to the sometimes reluctance to reach out to new people, knowing they will leave too. But there is some fun and love to be had in the meantime. And I guess in the end we all die alone... It is lovely to have you as an on-line friend :)

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